Living with a chronic illness is like trying to work your way through the maze from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – there are new obstacles at every turn, and just as you think you know where you’re going a dead end springs up in front of you and you have to try and start again. Whilst the physical impacts of chronic illness can, at times, be readily apparent, the impact that illness has on your mental health is often overlooked. It’s a complex interaction – an invisible battle that so many people face daily.

One defining characteristic of many chronic illness is their invisible nature, leaving no outward signs of the suffering that goes on. As a result of this many individuals living with chronic illness struggle with feelings of isolation and invalidation. There is often a huge psychological toll because of this, especially when there are attitudes of disbelief from others as they struggle to understand the extent of the pain and suffering that goes on below the surface. This lack of understanding is something that increases feelings of alienation, which just adds to the psychological impact that chronic illness has.

Something that I really struggled with, and, if I’m being honest still struggle with, has been the loss of my previous life. The loss of many things that felt like ‘Anna’. The loss of my degree, the job I had, the hobbies I enjoyed. I could suddenly no longer study or work, and things like running and going to the gym were unattainable because of the harsh limitations that were so quickly imposed on my life. And I know that this is something that so many other people struggle with too. As well as the loss of life, the stigma that accompanies chronic illness also impacts our self-esteem. We live in a society that values busyness and speed, productivity and independence. It becomes easy to internalise these messages, and to feel like everyone else is living their best life, which can exacerbate struggles with our mental health. 

And chronic illness life is STRESSFUL. That might be the understatement of the year. We have to deal with symptoms, flares, appointments and treatment, as well as the questions about the future that hang over us. Experiencing unpredictable symptoms and  flare ups is something that definitely makes me feel out of control. I really struggle with not knowing if things will get better or worse, and wish that I could somehow control everything in my own way (yes, I am a control freak and perfectionist and probably always will be). It becomes easy to feel like you’re constantly watching your back, trying to anticipate the next wave of symptoms that will appear. And this is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. The never ending feelings of stress have been studied and shown to contribute towards anxiety, depression and other mood disorders.

However, whilst it’s true that there is little those with chronic illness can do to ease the challenges that they face, dealing with these challenges day in, day out, means we also start to become very resilient people. And the more resilient we become, the more we can accept what is going on in our lives which can make the mental toll feel lighter. Additionally, this resilience can help us to try and develop a strong support network, trying to seek out others who understand what life is like, who make us feel less alone in our journey. 

Trying to reach out of help from others is something that’s really difficult, yet also something that everyone should try to do. It can be invaluable in providing additional support for the emotional impact that chronic illness causes. Engaging in therapy or counselling can help you develop skills and coping mechanisms that will help you in the day to day struggles, and support groups can give connection and help you form relationships with people who truly get it. All of this can also help you begin to feel more compassionate towards yourself, can help push you more towards acceptance of your situation.

Living with chronic illness is a journey full of obstacles, but is also testament to the resilience of those who struggle. It’s completely understandable that having a long-term illness has a big impact on mental health and can cause huge struggles – I think anyone who suddenly lost their sense of self and their previous life would start to struggle too. 

Finally, to anyone trying to navigate the unpredictability of chronic illness life, remember this: your struggles are valid, people do see your pain (and are exactly the kind of people you need in your life), and you have more resilience than you think you do. You are not defined by your illness, even when it dominates your life, but by the courage that you show when you get up and face life day after day.

All my love,

Anna x