Tag: Guilt

Loneliness in Chronic Illness

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Living with chronic illness is a journey that is full of challenges – physical, emotional, social – you name it, it can be a challenge. Among these, loneliness is something that is incredibly common but is also underestimated by a lot of people. Chronic illness fundamentally reshapes your entire life – activities that one brought you joy may no longer be possible due to pain or fatigue, friends and family may struggle to understand your limitations which also leaves you vulnerable to feelings of loneliness.

Social events often require energy and effort that a lot of people with chronic illness are unable to participate in. Spoon theory is a good way to describe the energy limitations that are imposed on someone with a chronic health condition, and often we simply lack the ‘spoons’ needed. This can lead to feelings of isolation as being around friends and family is how we feel connected and is something that people need – we use solitary confinement in prisons as a punishment because it removes that connection that all humans need.

As well as this, when people misunderstand our illness or limits that we have, it can lead to a lack of empathy or patience. It’s understandable that, unless you’ve got a chronic health condition yourself, you can’t fully comprehend what life is like. And as chronic illnesses are so unique and symptoms vary drastically from person to person there can be misunderstanding between individuals with the same condition. It often feels like no one understands what life can be like, and this is a lonely place to be!

Loneliness doesn’t just stem from chronic illness either – it can actually worsen it. Social isolation can exacerbate feelings of depression, anxiety, and hopelessness, which can, in turn, amplify physical symptoms. It can feel like a never-ending cycle that is impossible to break.

But despite the loneliness that you may feel, there are other ways to connect with people. I have found communities online that have allowed me to connect with and speak to other people with chronic illness who understand what life can be like. For me, social media is my connection to the outside world – if I didn’t have access to it then life would feel even more isolating for me. I sometimes take breaks from social media as it can feel overwhelming at times, but I do miss the sense of community and understanding when I am away from those groups.

If you know someone who is living with a chronic illness, remember that your understanding and patience can make all the difference. Reach out, listen without judgement, and offer support in whatever way your loved one needs. Offer to pop round for a cup of tea or to go to drop off some shopping. Ask if they want to chat on the phone or over facetime. Find out if they need help with jobs around the house and offer to go over and help them get some bits done. Whatever is needed at the time – knowing that they have people who love and care about them will undoubtedly make the person struggling with chronic illness feel valued and connected to you!

All my love,

Anna x

Managing Guilt – When Chronic Illness Impacts Relationships

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Chronic illness doesn’t just affect you, the person experiencing it – it has a ripple effect that spreads out to family, friends, colleagues. Something that I know a lot of people struggle with is the feelings of guilt that can arise because of this. Guilt can stem from feeling like a burden, missing out on social or work related events, or needing additional help from others. While this is a natural way to feel, it can have a long-lasting impact on mental health and relationships.

There are numerous reasons that you might feel guilty when struggling with chronic illness. Often people describe feeling like a burden as they require more support with things like shopping, cooking, cleaning or even washing yourself. This leads people to feel badly about the amount of time and energy that is being spent on your care. The nature of chronic illness is that they are unpredictable. This can mean that you have to cancel plans last minute and therefore feel like you are letting others down. It can also impact family dynamics and impose limitations on what you can do in terms of work – both of these can cause guilt as you feel like you are disrupting people from living their life or not pulling your weight.

I think it’s important to remind yourself regularly that needing help from others doesn’t mean that you are weak or less valuable. Relationships are mutual and those closest to you want to help you in any way they can. It can help to talk about your feelings of guilt – it may not be obvious to others that you are feeling this way, and talking to them means that they can reassure you that they are happy to help. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, right?

Even if you can’t contribute to things in the same way that you did pre-illness, you can find other ways to show your support, care and appreciation for those around you. Chronic illness is not your fault, and guilt won’t change your circumstances. Think of all the brain space you might free up if you’re not constantly berating yourself for what you can’t do!

Having healthy boundaries can help prevent resentment and allow your relationships to blossom and thrive. Remind yourself frequently that letting other people help isn’t weakness or a sign that you are no longer independent – you can be independent and still ask for help.

Remember this: guilt is a natural response to the challenges of living with chronic illness, but it doesn’t have to define your relationships or self-worth.

All my love,

Anna x