I met my younger self for coffee this morning.

She arrived on time, I was 10 minutes early.

She ordered a skinny, zero sugar vanilla latte. I ordered a caramel latte – no ‘skinny’ or ‘sugar free’ in sight.

She said she worries that she’ll never get back to work, is sad that she is missing out on all the life experiences she was looking forward to because chronic illness is cruel. I said I agreed, but that at least she’d learn there’s life beyond an eating disorder.

I tell her that it’s ok to feel lost and alone – because it’s not a feeling that will last forever.

She tells me that she’s scared she’ll always feel like an outsider or that something is ‘wrong’ with her. I tell her that she’ll find her people. People who love her and understand her, and that she’ll finally learn there is nothing wrong with her after all.

She told me that she feels on edge and frustrated whenever she has to use a walking stick or wheelchair. I tell her it’ll become second nature and people won’t care about it.

She asked me if I believed that God has a plan for her life. And for the first time in a long time, I could tell her I did.

I hope I can meet her for a coffee again soon.

All my love,

Anna x