Month: December 2024

Why I hate New Year’s Resolutions

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Every year, millions of people readily come up with New Year’s resolutions and are filled with anticipation that this might be the year that we eat better, exercise more, complete a project or achieve a life goal. And every year, by February (or let’s be real – by mid-January) planners are discarded, gyms are emptier and diets have gone out the window. Sound familiar? That’s because, for the most part, New Year’s resolutions are a load of crap.

They are built on a false premise – the idea behind New Year’s resolutions is simple: January 1st is some kind of magical reset that will transform you into a better version of yourself. But here’s the truth: change doesn’t care about the date on the calendar. There isn’t anything that special about the first day of the year. Waiting for a specific date to work towards achieving a positive goal or habit is just procrastination wearing a festive hat.

They set you up for failure – most resolutions are vague and unrealistic. They might sound nice, but without a concrete plan or measurable milestones, they’re destined to fail. When you inevitably fall short, you’re left feeling guilty and frustrated – not exactly the motivation you’re wanting, right?!

They’re all or nothing – resolutions are framed as black or white, there is no grey area. Either you’re hitting your daily step goal or calorie ideal or you’re failing. This is a recipe for disaster because life is messy and slip-ups are inevitable. It is not a reason to quit altogether.

They ignore the power of small, steady change – real, lasting change doesn’t happen in giant leaps; it happens in the small, consistent steps. Small wins help you to build momentum and, in turn, motivation. New Year’s resolutions are idealistic and built on the idea of instant transformation.

They’re driven by external pressure – lets be honest: how many resolutions you come up with are things you actually want vs things you think you should want. Unsurprisingly, when you make resolutions that are driven by what you think you should want, they become easy to abandon, and therefore fuel the feelings of guilt and failure.

They are a marketing ploy – New Year’s resolutions are a goldmine for companies looking to sell you something. Gym memberships, subscriptions to diet plans, apps that promise you productivity – they are capitalising on your hopeful (and usually short-lived) commitment to self-improvement. Instead of falling for the hype and buying in to something you don’t really want or need, ask yourself: do I really need this or am I falling for a clever sales pitch?

So, what’s the alternative?

Ditch the pressure-filled annual ritual and focus on a more sustainable approach to change – focus on habits and taking small steps each day, remember that you can start at any time because the best time to start is always now. Be compassionate and gentle with yourself and remind yourself that you can adjust your goals and plans as you need to. And, finally, make sure that your goals align with your values – you’re much more likely to keep motivated to achieve your goals if they fit who you are as a person!

The bottom line is this: you don’t need an arbitrary date or big resolution to grow or succeed. Real change happens gradually and consistently. I hope that the next year is the year where you learn to focus on building a life that feels good no matter what day of the year it is.

See you all in 2025!

All my love,

Anna x

Not Your Time

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Content Warning: This post talks about suicide. Although no details are given please be mindful of this and don’t read on if this is something that might be triggering for you!

Have you ever had someone say to you, “It’s clearly not your time,” after a suicide attempt? If you have, you probably know how cliche it sounds. Those words can feel empty, as though they’re meant to close a conversation rather than open one. Yet, as much as I’ve resisted the phrase, I can’t deny the weight it holds in my own life. After surviving multiple attempts to die – despite every intention to leave this world – I’ve been forced to confront the possibility that those words might carry a truth I hadn’t been willing to see.

I’ve tried. Many times. In moments of despair, I’ve done everything within my power to end the pain. And every single time, something has stopped in from happening. Maybe it was an intervention of a friend, the police or hospital staff, or a twist of fate that kept me alive. Maybe it was sheer luck, or as I’ve come to consider more and more, maybe it was because it wasn’t part of the plan that God has for my life.

The idea that survival is part of a greater plan is as difficult to accept as it is to dismiss. If I believe that God has a purpose for my life – and some part of me does – then surviving when I was ready to die suggests that my story isn’t over yet. If my time had come, wouldn’t I have succeeded? Wouldn’t I finally have found that escape?

But believing in that purpose doesn’t make the pain vanish. If anything, it complicates things. I’ve found myself asking why God would keep me here, struggling, when I was so ready to let go. What possible reason could justify the agony that led me to those moments in the first place? It’s a question I don’t have an answer to – at least, not yet.

If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve asked yourself similar questions. Maybe you’ve also faced moments when death seemed like the only way out. And maybe, like me, you’re still here, unsure of why. Here’s the conclusion I’ve started to reach: survival might not feel like a gift in the moment, but it’s an invitation to keep going. To keep searching. To keep asking what’s next.

When I think about the times I’ve survived, I realise that those moments weren’t random. They were filled with small interventions – a text from a friend, a hug from a family member that I so desperately needed, the police turning up at exactly the right moment to stop me doing something I wouldn’t be able to undo. Those moments weren’t the answers to all my questions, but they were signposts pointing me toward something bigger.

Wrestling with God’s Plan

If you believe, as I do, that God has a plan for each of us, then the idea that “it’s not your time” takes on a heavier, more significant meaning. If God has kept me here through all of this, then it would stand to reason that my time to leave this world is not now – because if it were, I would be gone. Period.

But it’s hard to reconcile the pain and hopelessness that drive someone to attempt suicide with the concept of a loving God who is guiding everything. It can feel cruel. Why keep me here, God, if it hurts this much? Why not let me go when I was so ready, so certain?

I don’t know exactly what God’s plan for me looks like. But I’ve started to think that surviving is part of it. Being here, despite everything, is part of it. And maybe writing this, sharing this, is part of it too.

“It’s still clearly not your time” still sounds cliche to me. It probably always will. But maybe the reason it’s such a persistent phrase is because there’s a deep truth buried in it. If you’ve survived something you didn’t think you could survive, it’s worth considering that there might be a reason for that. Not in a shallow, sugar-coated way, but in a profound, weighty way that calls up to look deeper into our lives and our purpose.

So here I am, still trying to figure it all out. Still asking questions. Still frustrated. But also still here. And if you’re reading this, you’re still here too. Maybe that’s worth something. Maybe that’s worth everything.

‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

All my love,

Anna x

Christmas with a Chronic Illness

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The festive season is a magical time filled with joy, love, and celebration. But for those living with a chronic illness, it can also be physically and emotionally taxing. The packed social calendar, financial pressure, and an expectation to be cheerful can feel overwhelming when your body is already having to deal with the daily challenges that chronic conditions bring. Here are some tips to help you navigate the holidays whilst prioritising your health and well-being.

  1. Set boundaries early – communicate with your friends and family about what you can and cannot do. Let them know how your condition impacts your energy and availability.
    • You might want to plan shorter visits, especially if spending all day somewhere feels too much, a limited timeframe might work better for you.
    • You can say no without feeling guilty – declining invitations or skipping certain traditions doesn’t mean you’re ruining things, you’re just protecting your health.
  2. Prioritise rest – the holidays are exhausting for pretty much everyone regardless of health issues.
    • Schedule downtime when needed.
    • Listen to your body – if you need to leave early or skip something completely then do that. Your body knows what it needs and should be respected!
    • Create a cosy retreat – somewhere where you can decompress where needed. I like to hide under fluffy blankets and put on my galaxy projector light and just *breathe*
  3. Simplify your holiday plans to avoid unnecessary stress.
    • Delegate tasks – let other people help you with cooking, cleaning and shopping.
    • Embrace convenience – convenient options exist for a reason and they are there to be used! Do your shopping online, grab some microwave meals, scale back the festive decor – whatever works for you.
    • Prioritise your favourite traditions – focus on the things that bring you most joy. For me that’s a candle-lit carol service and trying to see at least some cool Christmas lights!
  4. Stay warm and comfortable – winter weather can exacerbate symptoms for some people so take steps to stay cosy:
    • Layer up – wear comfortable, warm clothing, especially if travelling.
    • Heat therapy – use heated blankets/heat-pads or warm baths to soothe pain.
    • Hydrate – don’t forget to drink plenty of fluids.
  5. Prepare for social interactions – family gatherings can be overwhelming places, especially if you’re trying to manage symptoms.
    • Plan conversation boundaries – be ready with a response if someone asks you intrusive questions about your health that you don’t want to answer (it’s okay to tell people you don’t want to talk about things!)
    • Bring your essentials – medications, snacks, TENS machine, headphones… anything you might need!
    • Take breaks – excuse yourself for some time to wind down if needed.
  6. Mind your mental health – the holidays can be emotionally draining, especially if you’re unable to participate fully due to illness.
    • Practice self-compassion – remind yourself that it’s okay to have limitations and that you’re doing your best.
    • Stay connected – if you can’t physically go to gatherings, find ways to connect virtually if you can.
    • Seek support – reach out to any mental health professionals involved in your care if needed, speak to your GP, family or friends to share how you’re feeling.
  7. Have a backup plan – chronic illness is unpredictable at the best of times! Create contingency plans for if things flare up.
    • Keep your activities as flexible as possible – if you don’t need to book things, don’t book them (I still haven’t been able to book the activity my sister planned for my Christmas present last year as I can’t reliably manage plans) and let loved ones know that plans might have to change if you’re not well enough.
    • Stock up – make sure you have enough medication for whilst pharmacies are closed/post might take longer, keep easy meals/snacks in, and any other essentials you might need.
  8. Celebrate in your own way – sometimes, the best way to celebrate Christmas is to tailor it to your own needs.
    • Host a quiet celebration (if you’re well enough) – create a calm space with a few loved ones, that way you can tell them to leave when needed and be in your own space which might be more comfortable.
    • Focus on small joys – the hot chocolate, watching Christmas films, watching twinkling Christmas tree lights.
    • Remember the spirit of the season isn’t about doing everything, it’s about finding moments of peace and connection.

Christmas with a chronic illness can look different, but it can still be meaningful and joyful for you and those close to you. It can still be a time of cosy comfort and love, just on your terms – just remember to look after yourself and prioritise your boundaries as well as turning to others for support when needed!

All my love,

Anna x