I think this is a pretty common feeling that most people have at one point or another through their life. We look at the social media profiles of friends and family and feel like everyone else is on top of their game, knows what they are doing and is living their best possible life. It can seem as though everyone around us is moving forward whilst we are stagnated, stuck in a little bubble watching the world around us. So from the off I feel it’s important to say that this isn’t true – social media is a highlight reel and only shows the parts of life that we want people to see. We’re not all living our best lives, we’re just showing others our best lives – no one wants to post about the crying and the anxiety and the days when getting out of bed is impossible. So we don’t – but that doesn’t mean that those days aren’t happening.

We live in such a competitive world, where progress seems to be one of the main measures of how well we are doing in life. Where we see others’ progress and pit it against our own. Yet the only thing that truly matters is that we are running our own race, not trying to match up to others who aren’t in our shoes. It’s like trying to run a marathon in someone else’s trainers when they’re two sizes too small – it’s not going to end well. But when we wear our own trainers, that we’ve trained in for months, things will turn out much better.

It might be that you are on a different path to the one you think you’re on – everyone has an individual path to follow, and yours might not look how you expect it to. Maybe all you friends are getting married or having kids and that’s the path you think you should be on, but it might not be. Your time to get married and have kids, or to go for a promotion at work, might not be the same time as it is for others in your life. There’s no template to follow in life, it’s not a one size fits all kind of situation – it would be pretty boring if it was!

Here are some tips for living your best life, right where you are, now.

• Try to find your place and your purpose – what things are you good at? What do you enjoy? How can you combine the two together to bring you something that you feel gives you purpose? I’m not pretending that it’s an easy thing to do, nor that it is something that is a quick step to take, but it’s such a fulfilling way to bring purpose to the day to day.
• Be appreciative of the things that you have, rather than the things you wish you had. Try not to look at what other people have either, remembering that your path is different.
• Make a plan and stick to it, keeping in mind your end goals. Don’t let other people pressure you into making decisions that aren’t right for you.
• Remember the importance of setting boundaries – you don’t have to be a people pleaser and always say ‘yes’ to people, sometime’s saying ‘no’ is exactly what you need to do. Setting and maintaining boundaries is the healthy thing to do! Michelle Elman is an absolute boundaries Queen and has written a great book called ‘The Joy of Being Selfish’ which such a valuable read.
• Try to stop worrying about what others thing about you – again, not an easy thing to do as we’re conditioned to find value and worth in other people’s opinions of us, but once you stop caring about what other people think, it gives you such freedom to be authentically you!
• Focus on the little things and notice the good in them. I like to try and write down three positives from each day, no matter how crappy the day has been. It doesn’t matter if it’s huge like ‘I ticked off my number one bucket list activity’ or ‘I watched a programme on Netflix that made me laugh’ – positives are still positive no matter how big or small they may seem.

Even when it feels like your life is stagnant and has come grinding to a halt, I can promise it hasn’t – every day that you wake up is a day that your life is moving forward. When we look back at where we started it can be easier to see the distance that we have travelled – even if looking forward it looks like we still have such a long way to go. So, remember, your path is the path that matters – even if it isn’t quite how you expect!

All my love,

Anna x